Friday, October 19, 2007

Its Called a Break Up Because Its Broken

Breakups suck. There’s no doubt about it.
Long , long ago in a sad galaxy far far away, I was dating a guy. Needless to say, things fell apart. It hurts. Eventhough I were the dumper, its still hurts. Its rocking the very core of my being. I’ve been consumed with despair, confusion, anger, truly devastated by the end of a relationship that I thought was going to last forever. But im pretty sure I made the right decision. I know that my relationship wasn’t a match.


In these first few hours or days or weeks of my breakup, there’s one-all-important truth that I recognize : Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed. Its over for a reason, and even if im in denial about it, deep down inside I probably know what the reason is. But somehow, being the first one to realize that a relationship isn’t match doesn’t win me any great prize. Just the guilt of having to hurt someone’s feelings.

The hard truth is that breakups are sink-or-swim. Some people spend their whole life in an emotional downward spiral because thay cant get over lost love. They want to lie in bed for the rest of their life (Thank God I didn’t make this choice). Others use it as a turning point to reevaluate, rebuild, and possibly redecorate. Generally, if one person thinks that the breakup is the right move, they’re probably right even if it feels so wrong. People come together and move apart. Some are shorter journeys, and others were meant for a life time.

For you girls and guys out there who suffered from breakup right now, I know breaking up is scary, painful, discruptive and traumatic. Even if u know on some level its the right thing to do. But think about this way: when u and your ex got into this relationship, you were two brand new sports car driving side by side. You were sleek, desirable, and the ride was exhilarating. After a while you zigged and he zagged, you weren’t driving the same speed anymore. One of you was trying to catch up, and eventuallly you crashed and totaled the cars. When the insurance paid out, one of you decided to buy a new one instead of fixing the totaled one. So think about it. Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed. Its broken. And the longer you stay stuck in a dead end relationship or spend your days mourning one, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one.

The next best thing to do is get over it so that u can be ready for the better things in life that are coming your way. At the end of the day, its about whether YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn’t working, to recognize that it wasn’t giving you what you needed and deserved, and to pull yourself out of the dumps and seize the oppertunity before you. Because as messed up as everything right now, this could be the single best thing that ever hapenned to you.

And guess what? Once I got through it and started living my life differently, making decisions and demanding more from myself and for myself, I got a windfall that I ever imagined. Today, my life is even better than I ever dreamed or planned. I have a hubby to be whom I adore and whose love and devotion for me blows my mind everyday.
One thing I learned : Breakup hurts like mother fucker.
But its not an end, its a beginning!! After all...

55 comments:

niquie said...

I have to say THX A MILLION! Just stumbled on this site and I gotta say all those things...hard things to hear...where what I needed. I ended my relationship with my ex bcz he didnt have the sack to do it and we where in a rut. But like you said it hurts like a mofo! Even thought we weren`t the best matches for each other it was still love in a twisted kinda way. But just to let you know that it was inspiring to hear this and I am so going to buy that book!Thx a billion.Girl going throught the motions.

Anonymous said...

i think you've to give a credit for the author greg behrent. its plagiarism you know!

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I feel that you can do with some percent to drive the message home a bit, however other than that,
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